I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories
this is me, i am pete, love me
we love you pete
A study in facepalms
Funny because Sherlock was the cause of every single one.
sherlock is a facepalm-catalyst
This week on Tumblr:
It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.
STOP RIGHT THERE - TUMBLR POLICE
m’am do you have any idea how fast you were reblogging
WE SAID STOP RIGHT THERE
That last gif, man. XD
Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
if you want information it is
and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin
why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?
There’s the hufflepuff
Each year on her birthday, the King and Queen released thousands of lanterns into the sky in hope that one day - their lost Princess would return.
..the odds are stacked incomprehensibly against us.. - SH
But it’s Christmas! - JW
I feel the same… Oh, you mean it’s actually Christmas - SH
John: You’re just showing off.
Sherlock: Well of course. I am a show-off. It’s what we do.
have you ever had the urge to spoil somebody and buy them everything they’ve ever wanted because they are just so wonderful and you love them a lot and they deserve all of the nice things??? then u realize u are broke and sad